I recently lived for two years in Arlington Virginia, five miles from Washington DC. The Washington Metro stopped a half block from my apartment, so I managed pretty well without a car. Coming back from downtown DC, it was a straight shot on the orange line to the Ballston station, underground all the way. Only one time, the train burst out into bright sunshine. Where was I? “Arlington Cemetery,” said the station signs. I was on the wrong train. The blue line and the orange line follow the same route in DC till they split in Virginia. So I got off the blue train, went down one set of stairs and up the other, enjoyed the scenery waiting for the blue train going the opposite direction, back a couple of stops, up another set of stairs, and finally onto the orange line to go the right direction.
Having gotten on the wrong train once, you might thing I’d learn. But the only difference between the blue and orange trains is a small colored banner on one spot on the top of each car. I took the blue train by accident a lot in the two years I lived in Arlington. It got to be a joke with my husband. I’d text him. Delayed. Visiting Arlington Cemetery. Arlington Cemetery, that bright sunlight on a route that should be underground, was my wake-up call. Then I’d realize I was on the wrong train.
Getting off the wrong train was inconvenient, it was embarrassing, and it was a no-brainer. If only it were that clear and simple when we get off course in other parts of our lives. What kind of wake-up call do we need when we’re doing is not taking us where we want to go? God invites each of us into abundant and compassionate living, and we often miss the invitation. And then God creates another invitation, but it might be more inconvenient and embarrassing than the first. If we keep missing invitations, we might get a really dramatic wake-up call. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. But we could save ourselves a lot of trouble by not staying on the wrong train for longer than we need to.
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Brea Congregational United Church of Christ
August 12, 2018
Wrong Train
Numbers 22:12-35. God said to Balaam, “You shall not go with them; you shall not curse the people, for they are blessed.” So Balaam rose in the morning, and said to the officials of Balak, “Go to your own land, for the LORD has refused to let me go with you.” So the officials of Moab rose and went to Balak, and said, “Balaam refuses to come with us.”
Once again Balak sent officials, more numerous and more distinguished than these. They came to Balaam and said to him, “Thus says Balak son of Zippor: ‘Do not let anything hinder you from coming to me; for I will surely do you great honor, and whatever you say to me I will do; come, curse this people for me.’” But Balaam replied to the servants of Balak, “Although Balak were to give me his house full of silver and gold, I could not go beyond the command of the LORD my God, to do less or more. You remain here, as the others did, so that I may learn what more the LORD may say to me.”
During the night God came to Balaam and said to him, ‘If these men have come to summon you, then rise and go with them, but do only what I tell you.’ When morning came Balaam rose, saddled his donkey, and went with the Moabite chiefs.
But God was angry because Balaam was going, and as he came riding on his donkey, accompanied by his two servants, the angel of the Lord took his stand in the road to bar his way. When the donkey saw the angel standing in the road with his sword drawn, she turned off the road into the fields, and Balaam beat her to bring her back on to the road. The angel of the Lord then stood where the road ran through a hollow, with enclosed vineyards on either side. The donkey saw the angel and, squeezing herself against the wall, she crushed Balaam’s foot against it, and again he beat her. The angel of the Lord moved on farther and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn to either right or left. When the donkey saw the angel, she lay down under Balaam. At that Balaam lost his temper and beat the donkey with his staff.
The Lord then made the donkey speak, and she said to Balaam, ‘What have I done? This is the third time you have beaten me.’ Balaam answered, ‘You have been making a fool of me. If I had had a sword with me, I should have killed you on the spot.’ But the donkey answered, ‘Am I not still the donkey which you have ridden all your life? Have I ever taken such a liberty with you before?’ He said, ‘No.’ Then the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes: he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn, and he bowed down and prostrated himself. The angel said to him, ‘What do you mean by beating your donkey three times like this? I came out to bar your way, but you made straight for me, and three times your donkey saw me and turned aside. If she had not turned aside, I should by now have killed you, while sparing her.’ ‘I have done wrong,’ Balaam replied to the angel of the Lord. ‘I did not know that you stood confronting me in the road. But now, if my journey displeases you, I shall turn back.’ The angel of the Lord said to Balaam, ‘Go with the men; but say only what I tell you.’ So Balaam went on with Balak’s chiefs.
I recently lived for two years in Arlington Virginia, five miles from Washington DC. The Washington Metro stopped a half block from my apartment, so I managed pretty well without a car. Coming back from downtown DC, it was a straight shot on the orange line to the Ballston station, underground all the way. Only one time, the train burst out into bright sunshine. Where was I? “Arlington Cemetery,” said the station signs. I was on the wrong train. The blue line and the orange line follow the same route in DC till they split in Virginia. So I got off the blue train, went down one set of stairs and up the other, enjoyed the scenery waiting for the blue train going the opposite direction, back a couple of stops, up another set of stairs, and finally onto the orange line to go the right direction.
Having gotten on the wrong train once, you might thing I’d learn. But the only difference between the blue and orange trains is a small colored banner on one spot on the top of each car. I took the blue train by accident a lot in the two years I lived in Arlington. It got to be a joke with my husband. I’d text him. Delayed. Visiting Arlington Cemetery. Arlington Cemetery, that bright sunlight on a route that should be underground, was my wake-up call. Then I’d realize I was on the wrong train.
Getting off the wrong train was inconvenient, it was embarrassing, and it was a no-brainer. If only it were that clear and simple when we get off course in other parts of our lives. What kind of wake-up call do we need when we’re doing is not taking us where we want to go? God invites each of us into abundant and compassionate living, and we often miss the invitation. And then God creates another invitation, but it might be more inconvenient and embarrassing than the first. If we keep missing invitations, we might get a really dramatic wake-up call. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. But we could save ourselves a lot of trouble by not staying on the wrong train for longer than we need to.
It’s so common for people to keep doing a thing that’s not working that psychologists and economists gave it a name: the sunk-cost fallacy. What I’m doing is not working. But I can’t quit after all the time or money or effort I’ve invested. I can’t stop now. Otherwise I’ll have to admit what I’ve been doing hasn’t worked, and I’ll have to figure out how to do something different. Sunk costs. It can take huge courage– trust– or sometimes desperation!– to change. But all of us get on the wrong train sometimes. It doesn’t matter how much you paid for the ticket or how long you’ve been riding if it isn’t going where you want to go. And I want to go where God leads, well, at least most of the time.
I love being in tune with the sacred. That can mean different things. Holding firm to beautiful values. Listening to your gut. Seeking God’s guidance; that still small voice. And none of us does these things perfectly. So be prepared for wake-up calls, and depending on how far you’ve been traveling on the wrong train, those wake-up calls may feel jarring. But don’t fall for the sunk-cost fallacy. If we’re on the wrong train, we can just admit it, turn around, and start heading in the right direction.
Which brings us to the tale of Balaam and his donkey. Or, as the King James Bible says it, Balaam’s ass. You’ve got to admit the King James version has a ring to it. The bible has two talking animals, and Balaam’s ass is the second one. In this little magical realism tale of a man who gets on the wrong train, it is his faithful donkey who gives a wake-up call, but not before Balaam makes an ass of himself.
Balaam is a high-priced consultant to the rich and famous. He is a renowned seer, prophet-for-hire, so in tune with God that he knows how to bless and curse whole tribes and nations, or so the story goes. Balaam is not a fraud– he really cares about honoring God. The king of Moab sends a delegation to hire Balaam. The job is to curse a pesky tribe of immigrants called Israel, who are making Moab nervous. Balaam does not just sign on the dotted line. First, he consults God, who is on the favorites list on his cell phone and always picks up. “Should I take the job?” And God’s answer is clear. “Don’t do it. I want to bless Israel, not curse them.” So Balaam turns down the job. (Should anyone ever curse anyone? I don’t think so, but apparently people thought differently in those days.)
And then Moab sends more powerful officials, dripping with silk and jewels, and carrying a big blank check. “Balaam, the King wants you and only you. Name your price. We won’t take no for an answer.” With big innocent eyes Balaam tells these fat cats, “Even if the king gave me his house stuffed with silver and gold, I would not be able to defy my God. But wait here. I’ll just double check and see what God says this time.” Balaam really wanted to get on the wrong train.
And God lets him. “You want to go so badly, Balaam, then go. But make sure you say only what I tell you to say.”
So off Balaam goes, on his poor innocent donkey. Then an angry angel with a sword blocks the road: that should be a wake-up call. Only Balaam, the great seer of his time, doesn’t see the angel. His donkey does, and balks. Twice the donkey sees an angry angel with a sword blocking the road, and balks. Twice Balaam, the great seer, sees nothing special, and beats the poor donkey for balking. Finally the angel blocks a spot between two walls so narrow the donkey can’t move. She’s stuck. So she just lies down. And when Balaam beats her again and yells at her, the donkey starts talking!
When the donkey starts talking, does Balaam say, “Wow, my donkey is talking, Something really strange is happening!” Nope. He just starts arguing with his donkey. In front of those rich officials from Moab, Balaam makes a King James donkey of himself.
But finally Balaam the great seer sees the angel, the sword, and the obvious: he’s on the wrong train. He bows down before the angel. ‘I have sinned!” He sinned when he knew the right thing to do, and had his heart set on doing something else. And he sinned when he was so preoccupied with his own paycheck and prestige that he couldn’t see what was in front of his own face. And he’s finally ready to repent. Here “sin” means doing what doesn’t work. Wrong train. And repent means: get off that train.
So Balaam says to the angel, “Oops, sorry, I’ll just turn around and go home now.” But God is getting creative. “No, keep going, but only say exactly what I tell you.” So Balaam did. He traveled hundreds of miles to Moab, hopefully treating his donkey with a little respect. When he finally arrived, despite the expectations of the king, he did say onlywhat God told him to say. Three times the king of Moab took Balaam to a mountain top and carried out bloody animal sacrifice. That was how they did it in those days. But Balaam didn’t. He waited for all the blood and drama to be finished, and just said, excuse me, I’ll just step aside and find out what God wants me to say now. Three times, on three different mountaintops, they did this. And three times Balaam delivered a flowery poetic blessing for Israel instead of a curse. One of those blessings is still recited in Jewish worship today. You can imagine how this went over with the King. Balaam never did get paid. But his reputation for “only saying what God told him to” was taken seriously after that.
God is creative. When we hop on the wrong train, sometimes God can use it for good. At the least, for our learning, if we are willing to learn. But first, we need that wake-up call.
The summer before I started seminary, I thought I had to leave the UCC, the United Church of Christ and join a Methodist church. You see, Methodist pastors get appointed to churches by their bishop. They avoid this challenging search and call process that you have started. As a Methodist I could have had job security. I can’t say God told me to become a Methodist. My best impression was that God was going along with my plan. But I kept hitting obstacles. I had been going to two services each Sunday, one at my home church, Irvine UCC, and one at whatever Methodist church I was visiting that week. I didn’t feel much attraction to any of them.
I had been praying for guidance on which church to join– which Methodistchurch to join. One weekend I had gotten a sense in prayer that I would know which church was the right one, and I had been comforted by that. So I went to Irvine UCC for the early service, and a Methodist church after that. The Methodist service was OK. But the Irvine worship was amazing. The guest speaker was Rev. Bill Johnson, the first openly gay minister in the UCC. He was so inspiring, he made me so proud to be in the UCC. And the music was gorgeous, … I was so moved by this awesome radiant Spirit-filled UCCchurch. You might have thought I would get the message at that point. But no. I was just really sad because I was going to have to leave this wonderful church.
God has put an unlikely source of guidance in my life: not a talking donkey but an agnostic husband. (Who does not appreciate the comparison.) As I told my story to Scott, he just smiled. He had already told me his opinion, and I hadn’t heard it. It took me about two more weeks to realize my prayer about which church to go to had been answered that morning. Was I ever embarrassed to tell my Irvine UCC friends that no, I was not leaving after all. I learned that I belong in the United Church of Christ.
We will keep getting on wrong trains. And God will keep trying to get through to us. Our job is to pay attention, stay humble, be teachable, at least eventually. And not get trapped by sunk costs. When we finally notice that wake-up call, just get off the train! We will keep getting on wrong trains, and God can be pretty creative at using our detours to bless us. God never expected us to be perfect. Just forgiven, and loved. Amen.
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